The doorbell rang and as soon as I opened the door my 13-year-old son ran right past me, without as much as a simple “hello”. He ignored my attempt to greet him with a warm smile and hug. And guess what? This had become a daily routine. I often felt that not only was my child growing up, he was growing distant from me at the same time. I wondered if this was a matter of concern. Was their some trouble with my teenager?
The truth is that teenagers are a handful to manage and understand. As they begin to discover their individuality, they begin fighting for more space, freedom and independence. Kids of this age find parents’ involvement in their life quite harrowing because they feel they are mature enough to deal with everything on their own.
As parents we are aware that teenage children are in a sensitive stage of their lives and need to be monitored discretely; not because we don’t trust our children, but because we do not trust the world in which we live. We seek to protect our children from getting harmed or from falling into bad habits. Our need to ensure their safety though is often viewed by them as an intrusion into their personal space, which causes teenagers to rebel against us by becoming reclusive and distant.
A tip to avoid creating this rift with your children is to communicate to them that you are just a concerned parent. Tell them that you want them to be as free, independent and adventurous as they like and that you have no issue with them spreading their wings and exploring the world. They have every right to make their own choices and decisions, even if they make mistakes on their way. The only thing is that you would appreciate if they would keep you in the loop, so as they do not get harmed. If you are able to communicate this to them in a friendly way, there is a chance that your children will continue to be your friends even throughout their teenage years. Give it a shot. Happy Parenting!
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